As many of you know, we recently lost my mother-in-law. We are never ready when a loved one passes. Even if we know it's possibly coming soon, we just aren't ever ready. It's pretty impossible. Suddenly the world is different because they are not with us, they are not around. And when it's someone who's been at the core of our lives, it's even more devastating. When I lost my Gram many years ago, in one heartbeat, my whole world suddenly changed. Nothing ever looked or felt exactly the same ever again.
I don't believe that we move through grief in the way that has been popularized in stages. I believe that we learn to live with it one increment at a time. I will never be "over" the fact that my Gram isn't here anymore, or indeed my mother and father-in-law.
What has helped me the most in the case of my Gram is to know that her love for me still is and will always be with me. I carry her in my heart, and my belief system about what happens in the "afters" means I get little signs from her all the time that she is, indeed with me.
I feel the same about my mother and father-in-law. The separation will never not be sad, and that is ok. Grief is not something we are meant to rush through, cure, or fix. We need to move with it, like walking through water. After a while, it becomes easier. The best part is that the love that we have for them, and that they have for us is never diluted, and never ever dies.
Rest in Joy and Love, Lilly.
Love, Cheri
