We've had a bit of a mess around here lately. Out of the blue, our house stormed by Consumer's Energy guys wanting to dig up our yard, pull off one of our toilets, and start throwing sensors and cameras down our pipes. Then plumbers... for which we had to wait, and wait... and wait. Then there was an examination of the problem. And then waiting for a quote... add wait and wait... and wait. Meanwhile, my anxiety is bouncing off the roof, and rolling about all over the house, all over me, spiking every time I remember that one of the "possibilities" is that they will need to jackhammer my kitchen floor open, or cut down the beautiful tree out front. (I WILL chain myself to that tree, and I'm not kidding) I know that life happens. I know that the unexpected happens. It's always stressful when these kinds of situations occur--but when you are a person with an anxiety disorder it's a special kind of intensity in the whooooole body. The problem is still unresolved. We still wait for definitive answers. I'm working on my calm. I'm working on my feelings of safety. I know we are ok. My nervous system is not convinced, but I'm going to keep working with my tools. This is how living with a chronic condition goes. Fa-la-la-la-laaaaaaaa
Love, Cheri
