Personal power. We give it away in small or big ways because we are trying to make peace, get along, be easy going. It can often be an anxiety response called Fawning. People are familiar with fight or flight, but there’s also Freeze (think possum playing dead) and Fawn (and there are others). For me, fawning was the way I kept peace in my home growing up. If I kept my abusive mother placated, then she might cease her abuses for a little while. This moved into all my adult relationships. It meant that I allowed people to abuse me because I was trying to make peace. Eventually, my constant strained efforts led to complete exhaustion and breakdown. Claiming our personal power can be as simple as saying, “no”, when that’s what we need. It means not allowing anyone to abuse us in any way, even if it means ending the relationship. It can be as simple as understanding that we can’t fix people, or take away their pain, or dash about trying to make their life better. What we can do is love them and ourselves, and that’s the most powerful thing of all. Love, Cheri
